That was all gone, in one moment ofsheer stupidity I had thrown my freedom and independence away, I wasright back at the beginning, I was a baby again... but this time therewould be no growing up. I put Susie's dummy into my mouth, she was right I did get some solacefrom sucking it. "Calm down, calm down," I kept telling myself. "Susie will see sense shewill change us back," I told myself unconvincingly. I heard a car pull up outside and the front door opening ."I'm home," mother's voice called. "These guys were all damn good soldiers." he said. "What you called super soldiers." Alex said."That was forty years ago. Some of them have had the good life since. I don't think all of your men are equal, so which do we put guarding the crew, if it happens at all." Guarding the crew?" Alex asked."The three men you hired could easily be working with the pirates to help setup ships. This is a small ship, but like you said they use this boat for gun running, so it could be a target just for that. They need to be told, to be shouted at and to learn to fucking well get it right. So do you. Get over it. Coming?” I said no, I wasn’t coming and I walked to the station and took a train home and got quietly pissed on my own with a few glasses of gin. She was right, of course. I knew that but Christ, I felt like I had when Livi had slapped my face. I apologised the following morning but she reacted as if nothing had happened. That afternoon we were back at the rehearsal room and everything went. And now this. He had never considered his mother in a sexual context since that day... She had always been, well, just Mom. She had always been there when he needed her. Now here he was leering at her nude, well almost nude body.He was glad that she didn't know he was watching her. He was even more thankful that she couldn't read his mind.Still, she continued to look out across the yard, unaware or ignoring his presence.Jim's mind was churning madly as a strange, sick feeling came over him..
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