It made me conflicted because of the way I had been raised and it scared me too. Mainly of what others would think of me thinking this way. I began to...see guys differently. Showering after gym class became more sexual to me. I found myself staring more and wondered if anyone saw me the same way. I also would masturbate thinking of guy classmates instead of girls. At night, I would walk down to shelter #3 and take my clothes off. I laid on my back on top of the same park bench. I'd lift my legs. That short house painter, fixer-upper, who wore white clothes and a tie taught me to respect a person, no matter his status or position. He opened my mind to that value, one which we always are reminded of until the day we die, and Derk smoked Pal Malls. The weather was warm for Christmas Eve and the lake wasn’t yet frozen. Before I turned off the road along the lake I stopped at the bluff parking lot, shut the car off, got out and lit another smoke. I promised my wife I wouldn’t smoke in the. "Sheila set aside the glasses with the black tablets. Next she filled theother three. The one with yellow went to Alan. The red one went forDave. Hers held only whiskey.Sheila said a strange toast. "Drink up girls. Welcome to thesisterhood."As Alan and Dave drank they felt woozy. Sheila asked, "What is thematter girls? Can't hold your liquor?"Sheila gave her staff instructions to let the two sleep it off.Three days later Alan and Dave woke up. Sheila was there. She had madesure they were. .” Bill…Janet” I gasped, “You can’t be serious! You can’t mean that you want me to……I mean….she’s a little girl and your daughter and…” Janet touched my arm, “We are serious, and we can’t think of anyone better. You’d be gentle, she knows and loves you and you would make it an experience of love and pleasure for her and that is important.” I shook my head, “But surely you know some boys her age, one that she has a crush on or..” They both shook their heads, Janet spoke, “No, a boy her age.
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