"What's the matter?" I'm angry and I don't want to feel this way, not towards you." It's okay if you are angry with me. I did a horrible thing to both...you and Jules. I'm glad you're both willing to forgiven me, but part of me still wants you to shout at me, or punish me, or something. It's really hard to live with what I've done." I hate losing control, but I don't know how to let this go. It keeps coming back at the wrong times. I look at you sometimes, and it hits me—"He surprised me by. I'd love to, but you're married and I don't fuck around with people's wives. That's a good way to get shot." I'd let you." Whoa!!!" What?" We can't. I'm not messing with your marriage." We don't get along anyway. We haven't had sex in a long time and he's mean to me." Then leave him." I'd leave him for you."I knew that this was dangerous territory I was getting into. While I wasn't exactly friends with her husband, we got along well. And I didn't want to ruin their marriage or anything. I knew. I didn’t like the idea of sacrificing our dinner time – our family time – to work. But according to Mehret, it would only be for three days a week. And we needed the money… And she needed something to do – five times four hours was not enough to satisfy her need to contribute to our finances. Why could I work forty hours a week, while she was not allowed to do the same? And what was the problem, Nardos was around, she could take care of the children and the household duties… Conjit’s birthday. I knew most of the fault was mine.At the time I was able to see I was distancing myself. Running away.It would be another 15 years until I found most of the basis for this.My sister took me out to dinner for my 53rd birthday.We made plans to go out for her 49th in April.We're still trying to get that into our schedule. Hopefully this Monday :)We hope to try out that new Brazilian steak house. Sounds yummy.Sorry, I couldn't resist popping in some humor. I may do that more. It seems to hide from.
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