They had only met once and fortunately, she was beautiful and seemed nice (not that either mattered for the actual marriage agreement). I commented t...at it must be a little strange to marry someone he had only met once and without the opportunity to have slept with them before the wedding. He laughed and said he had slept with plenty of people whom he had no intention of marrying. He started asking me questions about girls and my sex life and I tried to be as evasive as possible. I didn’t. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety... ??WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was. "I tole Miss 'Nessa 'bout you," she said with a grin. "That girl's been mean and flighty off an' on lately, needs a man. I tole her that and said I had jus' the thing for her. I never, never been poked like that." She laughed, swinging her hips."You did?" I said around my mouthful of corn bread."Um hm, tole her you could freshen her right up. Nobody but us need know." I got to get goin', see about getting me a horse. Don't have time to go around serving widow ladies." Might rain all day," Becka. He looked at it, then looked again! His eyes bugged open. "What's this for?"I had thought how to word this carefully, for maximum effect, "I figure you deserve a very large compensation for the terribly onerous task of living with Julia." You BEAST!" Julia let go my arm so she could start hitting it with both of hers.I defended myself bravely, but she got several more punches and slaps in. When she'd fully expressed her righteous indignation (there'd been a lot of that happening around here.
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